I'm Tired of Pretending

I'm tired of pretending. Pretending that I'm okay with this situation -

that you could possibly care as much as I do.

That you've made up your mind, that you know what you want;

That I could be with you.

That it doesn't hurt, this merry-go-round,

A Seesaw teeter totter of emotions.

You know how I get because you tell me all the time " I'm too emotional".

But I've learned that that's okay,

Because you usually are when you really care for someone. I can no longer pretend that I'm fine.

Fine with you and she being friends.

How close you've interwoven her into your life.

Bc I never really got that.

No matter how long I've been here or how much I've wanted to be around; It just never happened for me. Too many times I've allowed myself to be convinced that maybe you care- just a little bit.

Finding shallow evidence in the most ridiculous things.

But that's my fault- not yours. You've told me so many times before what your plans are, how you feel, and leads to where this is going...

But somehow I made up in my head that something different would happen. I've prayed. I've left. I've stayed.

And I still don't know where or if I fit into this thing you call life. I'm tired of pretending.

Using a beautiful mind for unrealistic imaginations. How did we get here... Fin.

#Rio #Beach #WhiteSands #Ipanema